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10 Instagram Hashtags You All Want To Be

April 15, 2014

Hashtag. A metadata symbol that was once used next to numbers is now a compulsory accessory for microblogging sites.

From #fitspo to #foodporn to #nofilter, Instagram has changed the definition of the humble hashtag, so much so that we use it in our regular speech now. What, only me? Oh.

While there are many out there who have no clue how to use the hashtag on social media sites (yes you over there hashtagging a photo of a tree with these: #best #friend #on #night #out #wearing #red #lips. Ahem! #DisgraceToSociety), there are others who use it very precisely (i.e. this guy).

Now, thanks to a very scientific research I conducted on my personal Instagram account, it was tedious indeed, here are 10 types of hashtags everyone with an Instagram account wants to be. Yes, ‘be’ – a noun. Even if you’re a grumpy banker who’s stuck in a cubicle for 60 hours/week; you still want to show your followers what a lush lie you live.

  1. Hashtag ‘I’m-up-before-the-sun’
    Waking up at the crack of dawn with a loud moan, putting on your runners and heading outdoors, just so you can Instagram a filter-free shot of the Big Yellow Guy. Because sunrises make you realise how lucky you are to be alive and start the day with a clean slate. Your followers don’t need to know that you’re sitting there with frown and a double-shot, double-cream latte in hand.

  2. Hashtag ‘selfie’
    The fact that Oxford Dictionary announced ‘selfie’ as the International Word of the Year in 2013 is enough to prove that not only our IQ levels are dropping dramatically, but also that Ellen DeGeneres is going to rule the world. There is a reason why Apple makes new iPhones every year; they need to keep improving the resolution of the ‘selfie’ camera. C’mon guys, our faces need to be less grainy, hulllooooo!
    Disclaimer: this is possibly the only selfie you’ll see from me, well, that’s what the caption of this photo says. Lies. There are about 10 more since, but this one holds close to my heart – it was the first selfie I ever took. Emotional stuff, y’guys.

  3. Hashtag ‘Smug-shot’
    … not to confuse with a ‘mug’ shot, but this is just a casual photo of one of my luxurious ‘work’ trips that I didn’t pay for, and I’m spending it by the pool, but for my editor ‘I’m working’. I’m sorry, but this is what travel journalism entails, sucks for you to be a lawyer. This hashtag is for those frequent travellers who will ensure they drop the ‘i’m-always-travelling’ bomb in your timeline by a city skyscrappers or a plane-wing-amidst-clouds photo.

  4. Hashtag ‘I-workout-bro’
    This breed of humans use Instagram as a convincing device to prove that living a healthy lifestyle is totes possible, as long as it has a nice filter through it. It will come at you in the form of really toned pair of legs, or those super cute ‘Instagrammable’ trainers that look unworn (and possibly are!).

  5. Hashtag ‘I-am-into-expensive-beauty-prods’
    … and my nails are always this well-manicured. Your followers need to know how you don’t have the money to buy yourself a decent meal, but you can fork out over $40 on an unreasonably expensive and unnecessary luxurious beauty item… because #Treatingyoself, yo!

  6. Hashtag ‘Blessed’
    That moment when you tell the world how lucky you are to be alive and be able to live in this glorious world. Even though, in reality, it may have taken you hours to get to this location for a photo and perhaps 10 different shots to perfect the angle of it; still… lucky!

  7. Hashtag ‘Fitspo’
    The 44 likes of your juice cleanse’s photo are making me green with envy; because you’re literally six likes away from getting those six-pack abs. I can’t even deal. I wish I had that #thighgap and #bikinibridge of yours, said no one ever!

  8. Hashtag ‘TBT’
    It’s a day dedicated to pictures taken a day before or earlier. Why? Because you want the world to see what a cute kid you were, so you wait for a Thursday (or #FlashbackFriday) and post a really old photo that would make everyone ‘awwww’. Or perhaps, the photo of your younger, thinner, much hotter self, because you don’t look like that anymore. Soz, old age!

  9. Hashtag ‘I’m-not-an-alcoholic’
    Your followers don’t need to know that you head straight from the gym to the bar. All they need to know is your life is amazing enough that allows you to bathe in champagne on a nightly basis. Alcoholic? Pfft.

  10. Hashtag ‘Motivation Quote’
    … also known as, words you never said but passionately want to believe in. Every few days, there will come a deep, philosophical quote from this account that will make you want to rethink your reason for existence. Or just slam the phone against the wall. Either.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. April 15, 2014 6:25 pm

    This post cracked me up! #yolo #blessed (I would throw in a #selfie but that’d be just too much.)

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