The man sitting across from me has the characteristics of every single girl’s boyfriend wish list. He is charming, handsome, well-dressed, funny and is reading (very important). His crisp white shirt and blue denims suggest that he is a casual guy with a pinch of sophistication. He would give Zac Efron competition, when flaunting his sexy pair of aviator sunnies. And then BAM! Reality strikes and I am reminded of the awful truth. I have fallen for an unattainable man. A gorgeous man who only holds my hand when I shut my eyes.
After years of single hood and pondering over the “male” subject, I can’t help but wonder, why are women attracted towards something that is unattainable? After all, what makes the unattainable so desirable?
It is in human nature to desire for something that we can’t attain in the easiest manner. If we are on a restricted food diet, we crave for the food that has been denied to us. The desired man is like the sinful icing of a chocolate cake. They are irresistible and have dark secrets behind them. The dictionary defines it as “impossible to achieve”. This harsh definition is the blatant truth. Like a slap on the face. It’s like my dream last week, where I was Matthew McConaughey’s wife. VERY sexy and TOTALLY unattainable. It seems ridiculous enough to even day dream about this category of men. It only leaves us with frustration, sadness and empty hopes.
There are several categories of women who attack the unattainable kind of men. From my observation and experience, I have tried to sum them up below.
There are the selfish kind. The fact that these men are desired by all these women, makes them even more attractive. The competition factor kicks in, where each woman wants to make herself look more talented, beautiful, funny and sexy to eat the biggest slice of the cake. His unattainable factor makes him the rare gem out of the whole bunch. And this is only because women want their arm around the man who is unique, different and extremely gorgeous. He is like her Chloe purse; no one in the room has it but everyone wants it/him.
Then there are the needy ones, which I also call the forbidden fruit syndrome. These women only want those men who is either committed with your best friend, or is trying to hook up with her. All the other blokes just fade away from her vision. A committed man is appealing for the only reason that he is in a relationship. Women start analysing his sensitive and committal heart. Especially in this day and age when most mean fear away from the C-word.
Some women simply love the extra drama in their lives. When they find a man who is beyond their league – they turn their lives into a classical 60s Hollywood movie and fall into self-pity. These are also moments when pursuing the unattainable’s attention is a sign of low confidence. Those moments when women don’t have the courage to bust their ego and make the first move. Men are known for their tacky pick-up lines but never have I heard a nasty one from the ladies.
I understand that this post is now turning into a sexist documentation of my feelings, so I will cover it up by categorising myself in one of the above categories of women. But a secret one.
And then, while sitting on that crowded bus, that innocent man is perfect in the way an unattainable man can be. Exactly the way it is in the movies and in my dreams. His perfect hair doesn’t get spoiled by the wind and he never has a bad breath. And I would like to end on that happy note. My life is complicated enough for random pessimistic thoughts besides, that crisp white shirt was probably a gift from his real-life girlfriend.