Go shortie!

If you’ve met me in person, then you would exactly know what I’m talking about. And if you are one of the unfortunate ones who hasn’t – well that’s lucky for me then. It makes it one less person in my list of “people who laugh at me and judge me for my height”.

I am not a tall girl. I don’t have sexy long legs nor have the elongated torso.
I am only five-foot. That is all.
Not an inch taller. And it wouldn’t matter how many times you ask me, my height will still remain the same. I will not grow overnight. Sadly.

I’ve been living with the height jokes, mockery, lame comments, rude analogies and sarcastic insults for several years now. You would expect that a normal person would probably take offensive and get upset about it. I used to be normal, but then I gave up.

Years went by and my growing age stopped. It was probably the same time as my boobs stopped growing, my height stopped. I thought my life was over and I would be impermissible in a social gathering.
But my intellectual mind backed me up. My personality backed me up. My ability to socially interact with random strangers backed me up. My over-enthusiastic approach towards small things in life backed me up.

This might end up as an extremely vain post, but ironically it’s entirely the opposite. Short people have nothing to be arrogant about. It’s the tall bunch of you who have it all. You are the proudy ones, who walk around calling everyone below you – a midget! It’s a shame how a few inches matter in the society. It makes me wonder, why is a vertically handicapped person looked down upon? That only brings me to the assumption that physical appearance overpowers one’s personality. Short people are judged on their physical outlook way before they are even given a chance to talk. Why are we so shallow? And if we are, where does the future of all us short people lie?

But these questions don’t bother me any more, because I know that people who make fun of my height are probably the worst at making conversations. They need something to talk about and only because they are so full-of-themselves, they pick on your height. It’s like an ice-breaker.
Here’s an example:

Tall person: Hey, how you going?
Short person: Hi, I'm good. How are you?
Tall person: Oh! excellent. ummm..

Awkward Pause

Tall person: Wow you're short! Your head is like an armrest for me.
Tall person: Haa! you're short! Is the weather down there any different?
Tall person: Oh my! Do you get lost in the crowd?
Tall person: Hey you look like a leprechaun!
Tall person: You're such a midget!
Tall person: Do you feel like the world is collapsing on you?
Tall person: Geez, you're so short. hahahaha

My heart goes out to all the tall people who have zero personality traits. I really feel for you. You would feel so awkward in a social gathering of only tall people. You would have nothing to talk about. Well unless to start making fun of people’s short hair. That would be funny.

We are so special that we have songs about us. While Eminem acknowledges our birthdays, Randy Newman smacks our face with insults. His song “Short People” is downright offensive and rude.
This is how it goes:

Short people got no reason to live...
...They got little baby legs
That stand so low
You got to pick em up, Just to say hello...
...Short people got nobody to love...

Tsk tsk. Talking about this subject makes me a little sad when I think about my future. My dream of a tall, dark and handsome man will never be met. Unless there is a tall boy out there who wouldn’t make fun of a shortie, like me (proceed to Contact Me section, thanks).

I have only one request for all the tall people reading this right now. I know you’re proud of your height and all that jazz, you must thank your bloody genes, but please don’t insult my kind.
Because all the height genes/hormones/cells that we got from our folks, went straight to our brains and we know how to snap back at you!

Disclaimer: All the above Tall person comments have been used on me.

Image Credit

3 thoughts on “Go shortie!

  1. I’m about the same height as you and can totally relate. I mainly get the “hurr hurr you look like you’re 15 cuz you’re so short” remarks, which doesn’t really make any sense at all – since when does height correlate with age? Meh. I tell tall people that I am exactly the right height to bite their nipples off.

  2. i am one of few fortunate people who have met you and let me tell you one thing shitika anand,from queen elizabeth to adolf hitler short people have left their mark in this world better than any 6 footer,im just waitin for the time when the world really aknowledges you for what you are. and in my eyes your much taller than you think you are.

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