Deaths are difficult

It was a usual morning.

I woke up to the ear-pinching sound of my alarm clock. Smiled at the thought of not having any lectures on a Monday morning. Sipped on my morning cup of tea. Skyped with mummy. Had a long shower and got dressed to start my day.

It was a usual morning, until I got the news.

My best friend’s grandmum passed away last week.

A customer who I served at work (Woolworths) ALL THE TIME, passed away last weekend.

I didn’t have an emotional bond or regular contact with either of them. I don’t think I even recall their last name.

I remember my customer (first name: Al) was a very old man who used to do his grocery shopping only in the morning. I know that he loved croissants, even if he was not allowed to eat them. I know that he was 85-years old and walked around with a wheeled walker. I also remember that he used call me his “little Indian princess”.

I remember their smiles.

Why is it that we emotionally attach ourselves with people who we barely know? Is it our naturally empathetic nature that causes us distress? Which makes me wonder, if it is wrong to get attached to people? Should we be robots and not worry about strangers sitting next to us in the train?

Well, in that case i’ll have to break-up with my gym instructors, my regular customers at work, the amazing coffee boy around the corner and the building cleaner. Because if something was to happen to any of them tomorrow (knock on wood) – I’ll probably break down.

I’m sitting here finding myself in a sense of loss for not knowing them too well. Or i’m just sad about the timing. We take a long time to accept that life is a miracle and that we don’t deserve to say, “FML” every day. Life is full of surprises. Some are delightful and wonderful, and some are not. Some make you smile and want to pop that champagne, but some just break your heart.

It’s moments like these when we realise that nature is ruthless and our presence is worth much more than what we think. Our existence is fragile, temporary and very precious. And it is moments like these when I feel that life is shorter than what I think it is.

I pray for those two beautiful people who aren’t in my life any more. All my strength and love to their families.

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