There have been the good ones, nasty ones, unexpected ones, just-for-fun ones and revengeful ones. We have experienced them all. We have seen our best friends’ experience them all. We have abused, cried, screamed and laughed over them all.
Last weekend, I came across this Herald Sun article which left me puzzled. Come September, every recently-heartbroken girl will be able to celebrate her new singleton life with a plush hotel package. The Hiton Hotel in Melbourne is offering a $314 “break-up package” which includes; 24-hours of click flicks, one kilogram worth of chocolates, unlimited ice-cream, a preloaded iPod with uplifting songs (like Gloria Gaynor’s – I Will Survive, of course) and an appointment with a jeweller (to remodel any piece of jewellery from the ex).
I have a problem with this lavish, over-the-top package. I’m not a tom boy and neither am I unromantic, but this deal makes me gag. One Kilo of chocolate? Are you kidding me! The depression from the break-up wouldn’t even be close to what you would get after consuming all that chocolate. Your arse will not forgive you. And 24-hours of chick flicks? The emotional turmoil is understandable, but I don’t wish to spend $300 to watch Mean Girls in white bath robes.
I’m sick to death of Hollywood trivializing break-ups with their shrill romantic comedies starring perpetually beautiful people. But thanks to Hollywood, it’s easier to cope up with break ups. Movies have set a stereotype step-by-step rulebook on what-to-do-after-a-breakup. It goes something like this:
– Whine and cry
– Ring all your best friends
– Eat TUBS of ice-cream
– Burn all his evidence present in your apartment – (refer to the episode of Friends where the girls start a boyfriend bonfire and almost burn the house).
– Being in the “I-HATE-THAT-BASTARD” stage
– Lots of vodka shots
– Drunken hook up with a random
– Drunken crying session
– Being in the “I-miss-him-so-much” stage
– Watch chick flicks
– Get inspired by those chick flicks and keep adding tasks to this list.
I might sound hypocritical here, but women are BIG EMOTIONAL FOOLS. It’s like a routine that every women follows after a break up and don’t seem to get tired of it.
Have you ever wondered what a man does after a break up?
Does he sit with blokes, with beer in his hand and cigar on his lips, and watch Iron Man? I don’t know. And I bloody hope not.
There are a truckload of articles online stating the “Top Ten Break-up movies” and “Top Fifty Break-up Songs”, which only proves that there is an audience for it. There are women who want to park their arses in their bedrooms and sulk underneath their blankets. Why? Our tears are definitely not being acknowledged by that jerk and I am pretty sure he is ogling over Gwyneth Paltrow in Iron Man, anyway.
We need to Man-up! Not sit in pjs with a box of tissues in our lap. More like face the world and get ourselves back in the market. The hotel package is giving us an opportunity to prove our weaknesses. It is telling us to splurge into luxury while making a mockery of our sex. What does the Hilton group get out of this? Group bookings from stupid women who like to be laughed at.
A close friend of mine was recently undergoing boy drama and she decided to contravene the conventional break-up remedy. She went on a 4-wheel drive to vent out her anxiety. All the anger and emotions were released onto the steering wheel and the road ahead.
Another friend joined kick-boxing classes. I was tempted to send her ex to the same gym – just to laugh at his expression on seeing her HOT transformation and her HOT trainer.
And this is what I’m talking about. We need to stop being the touch-me-not kind. We need to show these men variety that our hearts can handle the break-up. We can handle the “It’s not you, it’s me” conversation. A simple change in lifestyle might sign the deal.
Get a haircut. Go shopping for some new sexy outfits. Stop sulking on Facebook.
And possibly, stop making break-ups – a money-scabbing industry.