Single and the City

Warning: This is not a pity post. Neither is it a smart-arse piece inspired by ‘Sex and the City’. Don’t trust me, well read away then.

If we’re friends, you’d know that I am a serious coffeeholic (I’m getting treated for it, don’t worry). If you’re casually visiting my blog baby (shame on you for not being regular), then you need to know three things about me – I wear really bright shoes, I laugh a lot and drink way too much coffee. When the three collide, it’s rather amusing. You might even pay to be around me on those special days. Grab a seat and watch me do the buzzing dance, why don’t you?

But getting back to important things, a few months ago, an international publication published an opinion piece written by me about coffee and baristas. Haven’t read it yet? It’s okay, everyone makes silly life decisions – click HERE to read the piece. You’ll smile, I promise.

When the article went live on, I was sitting in a cafe (obviously). I had my frozen fingers wrapped around my bowl of cappuccino, I opened the webpage and my reaction to the “edited” piece was a BIG, loud laugh.

I laughed. I got teary. I laughed again in ridicule. I swelled up in disgust.

This reaction was not a follow-up to my article, but to the chosen sub-heading and title of the article. On an universal level (CNNGo is read is in over 10 countries), I was given the title of a “lonely girl”. It didn’t just limit itself to the webpage, but spread across social media too. Tweets, Facebook status updates – it was everywhere with my name attached to it.

Journalistically, I was very happy with my article but I didn’t know what was a socially acceptable reaction to the heading – laugh or cry? That’s all I could see – it was staring at me. I thought it was pretty funny that my editor thought I was ‘lonely’ for considering being friends with the man who makes my coffee. But does that make me a loner? Too many questions and too much contemplation.

I moved to Sydney only a few months ago and even though I wouldn’t tag myself as ‘lonely’, I do spend my weekends drinking wine and watching ‘Under the Tuscan Sun’ on repeat.
This is also because there isn’t a guy in the horizon. There – I said it.
But that gives me the ‘single’ and ‘making new friends’ status – not lonely. Which is why, I decided to shortlist things I’ve learnt in the past six months of moving to a new city while enjoying singleton. Surely not everyone in the city is hooked.
This IS Sydney, after all. Stereotype says men get bored of their ladies really quick and the ladies are too career-driven to commit to a man.

So here are 11 things I’ve learnt, cherished and embraced as a single girl in this spanking city.

  1. Having a bathroom and toilet to yourself is the most rewarding aspect of living. Seat always remains down and you’re the Queen of the toilet.
  2. Untoasted muesli + Chia seeds + flaxseed oil + almonds = you never have to cook again. It can be eaten for breakfast, lunch, dinner, midnight snack, hangover hog, a drunken meal or even when you’re dying.
  3. The process of removing bed sheets for a wash and then putting them back on is a hardcore cardio activity. Guaranteed 500+ calories burn.
  4. Your gym trainer knows your sleeping pattern but doesn’t know your name.
  5. A ferry ride becomes the perfect getaway on a lazy Saturday afternoon. And eavesdropping tourists’ conversation has never been more entertaining.
  6. You start buying flowers for yourself and eventually get them for free because the florist knows the reason. He also might be a creepy Italian, but that’s not the point.
  7. Dreaming about a fluffy puppy and a hot man on the same night is never sinful. Never ever.
  8. You start mastering the art of ‘Table for One’. You have more confidence, exuberance and get more respect from waiters.
  9. Finishing an entire bottle of Shiraz on a Friday night is as easy as putting on underwear.
  10. The fortnightly waxing ritual now becomes a monthly session. Sometimes even after six weeks. But shhh, don’t tell the ‘downstairs’ fairy or even Santa, for that matter.
  11. You exercise your creative mind by complaining about your hypothetical boyfriend’s infidelity dramas to strangers on the train. They take you seriously and abuse your boyfriend. You take them seriously and start crying. Fun… all fun!

You tell me – can you relate with any of these? Is your pantry full of wine and cheese? How do you celebrate being ‘single’?

15 thoughts on “Single and the City

  1. Haha! I love this, Shitika, and relate to all of it (except point 11 – that is a little odd, babe).

    My ‘lady apartment’ is full of six different types of muesli-based cereals, sweet potatoes and no meat in the fridge (almost man repellent) and has a very strict OCD order.

    I cannot envisage a man in there. Not even for a few nights.

  2. Enjoyed the original article, and didn’t really get the ‘lonely’ vibe, but did mean to point you in the direction of the Toby Estate coffee shop at 732 Harris Street, Ultimo.

    Good coffee and an interesting crowd.

  3. No man on the horizon?
    That will come as news to your creepy Italian.
    The genuine beauty of singledom?
    The freedom to do whoever, no questions asked or answered, standards be damned.

  4. that really was a bit harsh and untactful from CNNGo.

    About singleton:
    I can sooo relate to point 3!

    Maybe point 12 could be the delightful anticipation that slowly builds in the back of one’s mind for the new man in your life, because hell yeah, you’ve learned from past relationships and you know that with new learned wisdom it can only get better?

    Maybe that’s just me though.

  5. I was totally embraced by your ability to almost laugh at yourself while sharing your most inner with the world. Reading your peace was almost as if I wrote it!! lol, funny, it was really like an outer body experience. I’m from Brooklyn, NY, but live in Los Angeles now so I can definitely relate to the new move, the single life, and the rush to chill, watch movies and write!

    I celebrate being single by complaining, then getting over myself, refusing to have a pitty party, force myself to focus and turn on my radio that in my head plays the tune of “grind girl grind, you only have one life, pay] the price now, to be the best there is” and the man will come! Although this song gets old, its the realest song ever sung for a single woman, or for me for that matter. As you can see i have a problem speaking for others hahaha…

    I love life and trying to find the best life possible in LA, the land where everyone is always on vacation, mentally!! No seriously… 🙂

  6. So i’ve just spent a whole afternoon at work sipping tea, and reading your blog.
    Very refreshing to read someone who I relate to so well.

    Beautiful blog babe xxx

      1. same as Anneliese… its friday at work… waiting for weekend..and stumbling into ur blog has been awesome!!!! great goin 🙂

  7. I fit all of these, but I’m not single. Should I be concerned? My pantry will be stocked with wine and cheese, Friday nights will be spent with Tina Fey, and my bikini line will remain ungroomed … until death do us part.

  8. I really enjoyed this article, especially as I’m considering the move to Sydney within the next couple of years. The week long stints that I’ve spent in Sydney for work experience have seemed a little lonely at times, but I’m looking forward to embracing life there when I actually move.

    Great article! 🙂

  9. i really inspired the way you write… another piece about your deep thought of everyday life… i love coffee and thats why i wrote few lines here to appriciate you,cheers.

  10. You remind me of me! Except i’m unhealthily addicted to dark chocolate – not coffee (my coffee order, if you can call it that is, half shot mocha with a double shot of chocolate).

    I absolutely relate to this! Being Indian, naturally my friends and family think i’m a loner too. Though, I honestly couldn’t be happier!

    I just came across your blog today – I’ll be a regular stalker. You’re super inspiring. Doing all the things I wish I had the balls to do myself – including being a journalist and moving to Sydney!

    Fellow cheese and wine lover, do try out a bottle of Two Hands Shiraz. It goes with everything – including a friday night in bed with ‘Under the Tuscan Sun’ on repeat (or Confessions of a Shopaholic – don’t judge)

    Much Love!


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