Hello, my name is Shitika and I’m an Astrology-oholic.
It happened five years ago, when my best friend and I were trying to justify the adversity of our sleep-deprived lives and blame it onto an external force. Quite literally. It was pouring with rain at the time and we were on our third soy cappuccinos for the day (that I secretly hoped had alcohol in it to help me survive the rest of the week).
That was the moment when we decided to read astrologer Susan Miller’s essay-type report on our star signs on her website (those who follow this stuff would know who she is; she’s like the Freddie Mercury of astrology). Reading that 2000-word+ monthly report on the walkabouts of the stars, planets, the moon and the sun was like having a drug slowly injected in our veins. I was frantically nodding in awe and wonder, almost scared to see how much Susan knew about me. She was narrating my life, right back at me, and then saying, ‘look dear Scorpio, you will be alright. This month will end and you will survive’. The shit, it will be alright!
Susan soon became my guiding angel. I waited for the first day of every month so I could read what the next 30 days would bring. Due to its length, I would also go back after a fortnight to revise her words of astrological wisdom. I then started marking dates in my diary for when would be the most ‘romantic day’, when I should expect to be ‘stressed’ and when the full and new moon were, so my sleeping pattern had something to rely on.
Half a decade later, I now have Susan’s app on my phone. I’ve gotten my family members, best friends, ex-lovers and editors addicted to Aunty Susan’s bread and butter. And I have someone to blame when I get a sore throat (‘Susan said I would get sick. Damn her!’)
About 70% of what Aunty Susan says about my sign, every month, comes true. A small preview – the month I decided to move to London, she said I should start looking for a new country code. The month I got a huge freelance gig and a major hike in Twitter followers, Aunty Susan said I would become ‘famous’ for a fortnight. She predicted an emotionally-challenging week for fellow-scorpions, and it was the month when I became a shameful sentimental mess, so much so that even I couldn’t stand me. Eugh!
Was all this happening to me merely because a woman sitting in America predicted so? Or was I forcing everything onto someone cosmically superior so I didn’t have to be accountable for my life?
My life’s become a cosmic mush where all the planets are drunk and they’re throwing up all over my pre-destined astronomical cycle. I am addicted to knowing what kind of person I am, what mood I’ll be in today and when I should buy a new piece of furniture, as per Neptune’s guidance. There are times when I want to go against the will of Mars and Mercury and RSVP no to parties I don’t want to attend – but Susan said I would meet my ‘someone special’ at a social gathering, so maybe I should go?
When I tell the cynics in my life about astrology and why I believe in it so profusely, they raise eyebrows, laugh at me and say, “nothing is destined, you make your own destiny”.
And this makes me wonder about destiny. Is everything really ‘written’ or do we create our own fate? If every kiss, every friendship, every failure and success were meant to happen, then wouldn’t our lives just be a monotonous prediction? If a lady from hippie-land tells me that I will fall in love on the next new moon and Jupiter’s retrograde will force me to exercise more, does that mean there are no surprises left in my life?
If every relationship you have, every freelance job you reject and every first date you go on is pre-ordered by the stars, then what happens when you miss a step? Does the cosmic buffet take away your pudding? Is there a calling from the sky, saying ‘Stop! Turn around, you idiot’.
What if the mistakes we make, away from the universe’s allocated boundaries, is when life happens? If we didn’t venture off, would we still meet the people we are destined to meet? Would we still fall in love with the wrong people? Would we still have failed marriages?
If everything is written… then shouldn’t we be more prepared to handle the sad, unfortunate moments of our life?
I don’t know… I don’t have answers.
But, I do know that people come and go from our lives for a reason, the planets continue to revolve… and those who are ‘destined’ to be part of our cosmic cycle will always be in our lives… and perhaps, even in Aunty Susan’s monthly predictions.